Who do I speak to about quitting adulthood?
We get schooled on manners, on how to act in public, on how to eat and the list goes on. We basically get schooled all our lives in different areas ranging from basic education to personal training. However, as I grow into a young adult, the more I realize that no one schools you on adulthood. Everybody just automatically expects you to officially be an adult once you reach a certain age. Other circumstances in which people might feel you are an adult is when they feel you should have all your things together. The truth is, no one really has all their sh*t together – not even adults do.
So who is an adult? How do I even “adult?”
According to google, an adult is someone who is fully grown or developed. Now, quick question – fully grown or developed physically? mentally? or spiritually?
There are loads of people out there who are fully grown or developed physically, but still miss the other two elements. So does the term “adult” even make sense?
Anyways, enough of the definitions, so we do not get caught in the trap. You see “adulthood” is indeed a trap. So let’s dive straight into the things nobody tells you about adulthood.
1) Independence. Most if not all of your life, you are trained into becoming an independent person. Well no one fully tells you that “sometimes only you can really help yourself” in this thing called adulthood. It is great to have a strong support system and people you can rely on when things come crumbling down in life. However, in most cases you need to be fully independent and take control of your life and circumstances around you. People might advice you, but it takes strength and independence to make the right decisions based on advice.
2) Time. Your time is everything and worth more than gold or diamonds. You need to be strategic about how you use every second of your life as an adult, because every second counts. Appreciate the time you have and spend it wisely. Figure out a way to evenly distribute your time, because time is one thing that never returns. You might run out of money and later get the opportunity to make more money, but you never get your time back to amend relationships or wrong doings.
3) Empathy. As an adult, people connect better with you when you understand them. Adults do not like being told what to do, or where to go. So it is important that you study people closely and get to know them. Learn to deeply empathize, because this makes you a better person. Listen to what the next person has to say and even if you do not have an answer in that moment still show your emotions, because sometimes all your brother or sister really needs is a hug and someone to show that they understand their struggles.
4) Alcohol and Drugs are overrated. Yes the transition into adolescence is a tough one and you feel like you finally have your freedom. Chanel that freedom into positive things and environments. It is great to bond over social settings and similar experiences that people are attracted to. However, sometimes you just got to ask yourself if it is really worth your time?
Spending money to get drunk and have conversations that the next person probably won’t remember in the morning does not sound fun to me. Also, it gets overwhelming after the constant hangovers and the lack of productivity you are prone to the next day.
5) Responsibility. Adulthood comes with a lot of responsibility. You are responsible for yourself and sometimes others in your environment. You are responsible for your actions, your words and in most cases your choice of dressing. A popular quote goes “dress how you want to be addressed.” Although I believe people should dress how they want, adults are still responsible for their choice of clothes. Unfortunately, your dressing is a judge of character, so adults need to make a conscious effort not to cross the border in their choice of clothing.
This does not mean cover up from head to toe, but if you analyze this closely, there is a thin line between classy and trashy and it is super easy to tell the trashy lot. Same goes with your choice of words. Adult hood is deliberate and this is what makes you responsible in the long run.
6) Your path is not linear. My friends son/daughter is a Dr. and has a really good job … okay, but am I your friends daughter/son?
You know I am a lawyer, so my children are going to study law too … but Dad, Law is not my passion.
Growing up, your parents will try to force you to do things according to their will. Your parents love you, but it is okay to say no in a polite and respectful manner. Let them understand and trust you (as long as they have given you the foundation and you have shown you can be trusted), it is okay to let them know what you want and what you have interest in. Adulthood calls for a lot of maturity and a lot of adults are unfortunately not mature.
No ones path is the same, we should all learn to embrace that – including parents.
7) LOVE. For me, this is the most important of it all. We’re taught through out life the essence of different things and behaviours. However, no one really teaches you about love. Hardly do parents or caregivers ever tell the children they nurture that they will find love one day and although love is a feeling, it is also a commitment. It is a decision you make with your significant other. Everyday people fall in and out of love, and you learn that all on your own as an adult. Love is all about adjustments and commitments. Love is mutual and sometimes it is not always just about you.
Now that I have shared 7 things no one tells you about adulthood, let’s re-direct our thoughts to this look. I have styled the dress trend and done it in minimal fashion. My look is neutral, as it only consists of two colors: black and blue. I have also made it more trendy by leaving a few bottons open, allowing for a sexier and more feminine look overall. My shoes help in adding a little edge to my completed look.
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